“I would follow you everywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”
I’ve written seven letters so far, and I realized that I’m breezing by certain events with the thought that I would circle back to them again at some point. Knowing me, I might not do that because of how difficult it was to get through it the first time. Hell, there’s also the chance that I might want to expand on an event that happened but I don’t want to continue rambling on for another few paragraphs and come out with a post that’ll take thirty minutes to read. I want these posts to be short and easy to digest not only for whoever curiously goes through my blog, but so that I don’t burn myself out too quickly.
My art is hard to miss when you comb through my blog. I even have drawings planned that I want to post relating to these letters, and I tend to spend hours on my digital pieces because I love details. I’m not sure if it shows up in my writing, or in my pieces as they are now, but it helps me pass the time. I’ve spoken about my health in a few letters, mentioning how I’ve been placed on medical leave and forced to remain housebound while we figure out the extent of my disabilities. It leaves me with free time, however my health does creep up on my hobbies as well (you’ll notice that I can’t catch a break, lol). The cold makes my bones ache, or the damage I have causes intense pains in my hands, neck or knees – or all together.
Which means I have to take a lot of breaks when it comes to my interests, and then there are the medications I’m on. They’re not overtly strong but they do pack a punch. I also have a family that I very much adore, so I try to make time for them as much as possible. All this to say that I think it won’t hurt to have a separate page in order to vent on some of the things I have never really vented about before.
Besides, I’m always morbidly curious so I’m sure somewhere there’s someone who read “Her Lies to You” or “Long Forgotten Memories” and want to know a little more.
Honestly, I would like the chance to expand on some of the things I spoke of in those particular letters. I never had a chance to really express the pain I felt. That is what the purpose of this blog is for after all, and I imagine the transparency would be nice. These posts might feel a bit more personal, but I see it as a way to address some of the stuff I touched on and to open a more direct conversation onto the topics they bring up. As a society, I feel like we would benefit better if we shared our feelings more. Hiding behind false bravado doesn’t seem all that comforting anymore – at least to me, it doesn’t. It makes me feel like we’re all wearing a mask all the time. Just hiding our experiences, trying to project this perfect life and perfect world ideation that we all know isn’t real.
Besides, I know we all love some good tea.
Stay curious, and be brave,
Sabey
Comments