I would rather live under a rock.
You can say I suffer from imposter syndrome, or even say that I allow my anxieties to have more control over my life than I do – and you really wouldn’t be wrong either way. Whatever the excuse, should that be what you call it, doesn’t really matter. I’m uncomfortable in my own skin, and I hate it yet, but I’m being driven by some unseen entity to follow this project through.
But I may be talking crazy. I don’t get much anymore.
My pauses come at no fault of my own. As of right now, I’m struggling with a liver who seems to have followed the trend of quiet quitting, because I can’t even take the full dose of the medication allowing me to function. I ache almost every hour of everyday, and I can’t decipher between the pain from my actual condition, or a lack of comforting accommodations – whatever the case may be, I am struggling.
And don’t even get me started on what is happening in my personal life. I have yet to fully process the bulk of it to even properly put it in writing. All I know is that I’m slowly beginning to feel unsafe, and THAT isn’t good – but for now, I’m limited in what I can do.
So pouring all my focus on this project has been keeping me sane… believe it or not.
I created a tiktok, and my intention is to share the posts on this blog. I don’t know anything about marketing outside of that, or even how to draw attention to myself. I’ve spent all my life trying to hide that I find it a little annoying that I have to figure out the complete opposite now. A youtube channel is in the works, and for that, I have my friends help. This blog, and my tiktok are personal to the point that I might be very hesitant to post, so to whoever finds interest in what I’m writing, be patient with me. I’m practically learning how to walk.
Sabrance
Hours ago, I thought making this video was terrifying. Since it has been taking me roughly six hours to get it POSTED, now I’m just annoyed and trying to get it posted OUT OF SPITE. I may be really shy, but I am a scorpio… For anyone who reads further into this, this account cannot yet have links posted on it, but my art account is more than capable of pulling that off so you can find any links related to my cause and my struggle @Sabey | DarklingArtist I have bee trying to post this roughly 20 times already. Am I stupid? Who knows…. 🧿 #debtpayoff #payoffdebt #debt #cancersurvivor #cancerfree #chronicillness #chronicsurvivor #disability #disabilitytiktok #younganddisabled ♬ original sound – A Chronic Survivor
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